The Epic Struggle
by Zaratan
Summary: When Rufus spies something amiss in the cafeteria during lunch, it's up to him to put a stop to the menace! Can our favourite naked mole rat emerge triumphant? From the pages of Valentine's Surprise.
1. Chapter 1

Disney owns, I don't. I am weak and pitiful, and not worthy of being sued. This is being done at the request of Calamite. He brought the idea up in the review for Valentine's Surprise, and I had to admit, it was a pretty good idea.

So basically, this could stand alone, but it also ties in directly with my story Valentine's Surprise, chapter 12. Enjoy!

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The Epic Struggle

Rufus slept comfortably in his quiet little home, dozing peacefully for most of the day. He understood that this was a big day for his humans, it was all they had talked about all weekend, but in his mind, they worried over nothing. His pet Ron should have known that better than anyone. After all, his motto was 'Never Be Normal', a philosophy that Rufus understood well and lived by. After all, what was normal anyways.

Rufus was roused from his sleep by the sound of conversation. Since he could feel that his human was sitting and could hear him talking, that could only mean one thing; lunch time.

Poking his head out from his pocket, Rufus blinked in the light, easily taking in his humans around him. Granted, they weren't his like Ron and Kim were, but they came by often enough, especially the loud one that his human liked now. He was still getting used to her, considering she wasn't very nice until recently, but he figured he could adapt. After all, she was still learning.

That was when the unexpected movement on the table caught his attention. The blond female's food, which she wasn't paying attention to, seemed to be moving all on it's own, with no help from the fork in her hand. Rufus had seen what this stuff could do at times, and highly doubted that anything that could move on it's own would likely be up to any good.

Glancing around the table, he saw that none of his humans had noticed the problem, leaving the situation up to him. Jumping up from his pocket, he landed deftly on the table. Taking a couple of hops, he landed in front of the blob, forcing it to halt in it's tracks.

For a moment, the two eyed each other, frozen, waiting for the other to make the first move. With no warning, a pseudopod shot forth from the blob, catching Rufus in the stomach, knocking the naked mole rat back. Rufus groaned as the air was knocked from his lungs, and he dropped to three paws. The pseudopod flailed about as if in victory, but froze when Rufus looked up.

Rufus' eyes were hard and cold. No food did that to him, no matter how rotten it had gotten. His eyes flashed blue for a moment, and he thought he could see the blob shiver in fright. With a roar, Rufus leapt at the vile concoction, his paws striking out with precision.

With the first strike, his paw dislodged what appeared to be a kernel of corn, but it was hard to tell. His second strike knocked loose a piece of meat, and the blob fell back under the assault.

The blob fell back to the table, it's pseudopod raised in surrender as it tried desperately to back away. Rufus stalked after it, confident.

The blob saw it's chance. Grabbing the fork from a gawking student, it swung the weapon at Rufus, intending to take the mole rat's head clean off. Rufus ducked under the blow, backing up quickly out of the thing's range. The blob moved in quickly, aiming to take advantage of the situation. It's pseudopod wrapped around the fork, it danced forward like a fencer, attempting to stab Rufus.

But the blob was an amateur, and Rufus had dealt with ninjas. The blob's feeble attacks were nothing compared to those. On the third strike, Rufus stepped to the side and forward, putting himself inside his foe's attack. He stepped down quickly on the pseudopod, restraining it, before the blob had a chance to pull back.

It's pseudopod trapped, the blob struggled mightily to pull free to no avail. Rufus just raised a digit, waving it back and forth, all while smiling. With a blop, the blob cut itself off from it's pseudopod and it's weapon so that it could pull back.

That was all the opportunity Rufus needed. Stomping down on the fork, he flipped it up into the air. The move distracted the blob, which eyed the weapon carefully, but Rufus already knew how this battle was going to end.

His paw shot up quickly, grabbing the fork, and drove it quickly into the blob. Gravy shot out from the wound, covering Rufus as the naked mole rat drove the fork in deeper into his enemy. The blob burbled and burped in protest, but it was far too late for it to save itself now. With one final twist, the blob fell to the table, unmoving.

Rufus took a deep breath, savoring his victory. Raising his paws, fork in paw, over his head, he let out a triumphant cheer. Lunch, the cafeteria, and his humans, all were safe for anouther day.

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Author's Notes – This is just a short little thing, actually managed to stretch this thing out longer than I thought possible considering it made up only five partial lines in Valentine's Surprise. Hope you enjoyed!


	2. Chapter 2

Disney owns, I don't. I am weak and pitiful, and not worthy of being sued. Aeden cameron came up with an interesting idea in a review, so now this is a continuing story, at least for now. Coming from the 'pages' of Valentine's Surprise is the tale of a naked mole rat, who stands for truth, justice, and edible foods everywhere. He is Rufus!

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The Epic Struggle – Chapter 2

Rufus made his way carefully across the counter, stopping to pause and check his surroundings carefully. That blob could not have been a one-time occurrence, there had to be more of those things, and Rufus intended to stop them. The only question in his mind was if the cafeteria lady was in on this fiendish scheme. If she was, he planned to stop her. And with his humans in detention, this gave him the perfect opportunity to do so.

He scampered quickly, keeping an eye open for movement. When he got to the food line, he paused, sniffing the air. The faint odour that reached his nostrils told him which tray had held the blobby concoction, and Rufus decided to see if he could track the vile stuff back to it's source.

Moving to the back now, remembering the layout from when his human had been in charge, and actually providing good food, the mole rat kept his senses sharp as he sought out his target. His nose led him to the very back, where the large, walk-in refrigerator stood.

Rufus paused as he looked up at the door, wondering how he was going to get in. Even if he could get to the handle, the door was heavily weighted. He doubted even he could open this door successfully.

Just as he wondered if he could get one of his humans here to help him investigate, Rufus heard a sound behind him. Spotting a bucket and pail, Rufus checked first to make sure it was empty, and then dove in, seeking to hide from whoever was coming.

It was the cafeteria lady. The thin, older woman was the bane of many a student here. Her gray hair was up in a bun, wrapped in a hairnet. Her glasses hung low on her thin face, and her apron was smeared in the remains of what she had been serving today. But it wasn't her appearance that caught Rufus' attention, it was what she was carrying.

In her arms was a large sack, containing what, Rufus wasn't sure, but he intended to find out. The lunch lady paused in front of the fridge door, shifting one hand to open it, and while she was distracted, Rufus bolted from his cover, and ran straight through the now open door to the refrigerator.

The lunch lady grunted as she dragged what she was carrying the last few feet. "I don't know what Amy would do if I wasn't around to clean up her mistakes. If I wasn't her mother, I'd let her dispose of her own genetic mutations. On the other hand... it does give me a cheap source of meat to serve these kids, leaving more money in the budget for me."

Rufus gasped, as the pieces fell into place. This was no ordinary food service provider. This woman was the mother to DNAmy, the mad geneticist! No wonder her concoctions were coming to life. Rufus knew he had to get this information out to his humans, and put a stop to this.

Rufus waited by the door for the cafeteria woman to reopen it on her way out. He watched as she placed her bundle down, wiping her hands on her stained apron. When she opened the door, he would be ready.

What Rufus hadn't counted on was him being spotted. When Rufus tensed as she reached for the door handle, her hand shot out quickly, snagging Rufus in her tight grip. The naked mole rat struggled furiously against her grip, but it was like steel, unrelenting.

"Well what do we have here? Did one of Amy's experiments survive? We'll just have to take care of that, won't we." Her smile was cruel and evil. "Of course, fresh meat is so much better!"

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Author's Notes – These are just going to be short little chapters, probably never more than 1,000 words. They're just fun little things I'll be throwing together when the mood strikes me, cause I can put it together in under an hour. I hope you enjoy them!


	3. Chapter 3

Disney owns, I don't. I am weak and pitiful, and not worthy of being sued.

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The Epic Struggle – Chapter 3

Rufus stared up into the cruel looking face as the evil lunch lady carried him over to the counter. Rufus knew he'd have to get away, before this mad woman could enact her plan to dispose of him. When Rufus felt the cutting board on his back, he knew he'd have to act fast.

"All right little one, just hold still for mommy, and she'll make this quick.." The lunch lady held Rufus down with one hand, reaching to the side with the other to grasp a rather large cleaver. The blade glinted faintly in the pale light, as she lifted the blade handily. She lined it up with the base of Rufus' throat, causing the naked mole rat to gulp when he felt it.

"All right little guy, hold still now..." The lunch lady lifted the meat cleaver, and brought it down perfectly where she had lined up, as she knew she would. With a satisfied sigh, she let Rufus go, and turned her attention to the cooking implements behind her. "Now, what would be the best way to cook you up? Maybe a nice fricassee..."

Rufus felt her let go, and brought his paws up to the empty spot where his head had been. After a moment of frantic searching, his head popped out from between his shoulders, giving a sigh of relief. He glanced over at the lunch lady, watching as went through various ways to cook him up, and knew he had to stop her. When he saw the olive oil on the counter, an idea quickly came to mind.

The lunch lady turned, holding a skillet in her hands. "All right then, let's..." her gaze shot to the now empty cutting board, and her eyes were wide, "where did you go?"

Beginning a frantic search, she looked everywhere for the little rodent, but could find him anywhere. That's when Rufus popped up from the other side of the room, in between a couple of cans of some unidentified substance. The naked mole rat waved a paw, smiling all the while. "Hnkk... hi!"

The lunch lady went right to attention before smiling. Slowly, she reached over, grabbing the cleaver from the counter, and began inching her way over. "All right little guy, come here. Mama Hall just wants to cook you up properly."

Rufus gave one last wave, and ducked back behind the cans, and the lunch lady moved quickly, crossing the room. She swept the cans to the side, looking hard for the little guy. "All right now, where'd you go?" Pushing a few more cans to the side, she started to get frustrated.

A loud crash behind her startled her, and she turned to see the freezer door open as a nearby chair hit the button, popping the door open. Rufus was on the floor, and when he looked over, he appeared startled as well. With a jolt, he bounded into the now open freezer.

The lunch lady just grinned, as she stalked over to the open door quickly. "I got you now you little... ahhhHHHH..."

About fifteen feet from the open door, her feet slid out from under her. Her arms pinwheeled in an attempt to maintain her balance, but that didn't stop her from sliding across the floor. Her feet caught the lips to the freezer, and with her momentum, she flew into the open freezer, crashing into the shelves.

Rufus, seeing his goal accomplished, ducked back out of the room and shut the freezer door behind him. Climbing up the fallen chair, he got to the freezer door lock, and slid the small pin into the socket, locking her in. He could hear her frantically pounding on the door now, but Rufus knew there was no way out for her. With a bit of a skip in his step, Rufus headed back to his humans in detention, satisfied that his work was done here.

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Mr. Barkin was making his rounds the next morning, when he noticed Judith wasn't in the cafeteria kitchen, which was surprising because she was usually quite punctual. As he started looking around, his feet slid out from under him, and he fell to the floor with a thud. Glancing around, he noticed a slick trail of oil leading right to the freezer, and rising carefully, he made his way over to it. The door was locked, but he just pulled the pin and opened the door.

Judith Hall, Middleton High's cafeteria lady, was standing in the middle of the freezer, her arms crossed in front of her. He skin was blue, and she had a pair of icicles hanging from her nose that didn't even come loose, even with her chattering teeth. "Cheese and crackers woman, what happened to you?"

Judith was pulled out of the freezer like a frozen block, and Steve Barkin pulled her over to the ovens, turning them on and leaving the doors open. "Hold on, I'll go get you some blankets."

Judith Hall just stood there shivering, her mind on one thing only. "I'm gonna get that little rodent!"

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Author's Notes – I'm trying to go for a cartoon feel with this, just plain ole against-the-laws-of-nature-and-reality fun, which is hard to translate outside a visual medium. Let me know if it works or not.


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